Aurora's Space

Admiring a people - Japan in its time of crisis

2011-03-17T12:42:00.000-07:00

I've been mesmerized by all the news covering the disaster in Japan at the moment. It is completely heart-wrenching.

I know that I felt certain negativity in my last little while over there, and I still stick with my feelings on certain issues, but it doesn't stop me from feeling personally affected by this.

Living in a place for 7 years, makes it become a part of you. And I will always have a part of Japan in me.

I've praised the integrity and tenacity of the Japanese people in the past. A few articles I've written about Japan and the Japanese in Suite 101, I've praised the sense of community and duty to their neighbours they have. And it can be seen now with this tragedy.

Many are surprised that Japan was affected the way it was. I've been reading many blogs and posted comments on other sites of people brushing it off, as they believe since Japan was the most prepared country for eathquakes, they'll be just fine. They'll come out of this and recover quickly.

I have no doubt that they will come out of this. As I mentioned before, the Japanese are tenacious. They know what endurance is and are very good at it. But it has to be acknowledged that after receiving blow after blow, even the strongest community begins to falter.

They are dealing with:

First, an earthquake with a magnitude that could've probably woken Mount Fuji if it was closer to the volcano.

Then before they could stabilize their feet on the broken ground, a tsunami came. And not just any tsunami, but a wave so strong and powerful, it crossed the pacific ocean and reached the western shore.

Then, before they could get their head above water, literally, the nuclear reactor explosions leaking radiation occurred.

There are tens of thousands of people who have lost homes, family members, possible health and are still courageously supporting one another through terrible after-shocks, (some news broadcasts reporting over 450 with some reaching the high 6's and 7's on the Richter scale!), snowy weather, declining emergency supplies...I have to hand it to them....this is a true test to their character and country.

If this was a different country, the looting and crime would most likely have escalated, yet through it all, the Japanese have remained calm, composed and strong. We could learn from them in all this.

My heart goes out to them. They will get back on their feet, but in the meantime, I hope they get the help that they have always given to other nations in their time of need.

This is raw footage from someone who videotaped the incoming tsunami. It shows just how fast and powerful the water is and how quickly it rose to take people's possessions, homes and unfortunately, lives.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpuLlIrUYsI

I am thinking and praying for you, Japan.

Holding on for dear life...no end in sight

2010-11-09T18:03:00.000-08:00

Well, it is now 9 months since we've been back and 8 months since I've been looking for a job.

I am the perfect example of: be careful what you wish for.

I've done alot of pondering these last few months. Life is too short to be anxious and stressful, but it seems like an impossible feat not to be.

I commend my husband for trying to stay positive. He really has an amazing attitude. Yes, he has bad days. Days where he is fed up and wants to pack up and leave, but it passes quickly enough and he sticks to his promise to give it a shot.

I, on the other hand, am taking this setback badly. Surprise, surprise...the emotional one. But I also have good days where I just keep plugging forward.

It just amazes me that in a country that is so multi-cultural, and Toronto being named the #1 multicultural city in the world, having lived and worked abroad and exposed myself to other cultures and worked in NUMEROUS multi-cultural settings, it works against me here. How screwed up is that?

I haven't heard from the literary agent and have just sent out another query to another agent. Publishing is a waiting game, isn't it?

Trying to get my internet business on the ground and ridiculously enough, can't seem to find a solution to the biggest and most important of all: setting up my website! Nobody I know can do it, much less as a favour or help.

Looked at some companies and the price they charge is much too high, so unfortunately that has to be put on hold.

Am waiting for my foreign credentials assessment in order to take my next step. Have been waiting for some time and because of that, the easiest and most reasonable move for our future has been put on hold. argh

So I called the university today and left a message giving them a piece of my mind...a rather BIG piece of my mind, at that! ;) lol

Frustrations are everywhere, but we try to find good things to keep us smiling during this struggle. My husband and I went to a village that mocks the pioneer times of Canada...just love that...he got some awesome shots on his camera. It was a nice day.

We've taken quite a few weekends to go hiking...it's nice to see Canada's nature at it's best. It seems that is the only part of my homeland that hasn't let me down...still beautiful, still rich, still good ol' Canadian horizons....at least that hasn't changed!

Submitted an article to a Woman's magazine in the states. Hopefully, they'll accept it for publication. It would be a nice boost!

Other than that, still plugging away. Slowly adapting. Have hung up some pictures around the apartment and taken some of our possessions we had in Japan and laid them out around the place. It gives us more of a sense of stability.

Slowly getting there. Praying to God and leaving things in his hands. I know he won't leave us in such a low time.

Keeping Faith

2010-08-31T19:37:00.000-07:00

Struggles never end, it seems.

I suppose I can now fully understand the phrase: be careful what you wish for.

It hasn't been easy for us, since we've come back. I am still out of work, much to my dismay and everyone's surprise.

It's a frustrating time. The struggles we are facing now, have put quite a damper on our happiness and relief and excitement of coming home.

I remind myself everyday of the good things we have and what we need to be grateful for. My husband is working hard to provide for us now. We are grateful God has taken care of us and given us this blessing.

I have faith that things will get easier, I just need to work on patience.

In the meantime, apart from job searching and resume sending, I am working on submissions for my novel. Crossing fingers that it will be picked up soon by an agent or publishing house.

Another good thing I've focused on is that Autumn is right around the corner...my favourite season!! So I am very happy about that. It will be a great time for my husband to get in some photography. And with the beautiful Canadian landscapes, I'm sure despite our present struggles, it will be a time for us both to sit back and lose ourselves in the natural beauty around us and perhaps forget our troubles for a time.

Photography is a portal not just for the naked eye to see beyond, but for one's soul to swim in...

School never ends

2010-06-27T21:44:00.000-07:00

Well, am very happy to report that I presented for my exam and have passed!! :) YAY!

So, this is the first part and the toughest that had me sweating bullets. I'm happy it is now over, and I can turn all my attentions to finding full time employment.

I plan on presenting the practical part of the exam within the next 3 weeks. Once that is done, I'll do my CPR certification and be finished!

Hoping that by the end of July I'll be happy to blog that I am a Nutrition and Wellness Specialist, and I'll have some letters behind my name. ;)

This will open new and (hopefully) more prosperous roads for me and my family. Fingers crossed.

Dad in Recovery

2010-06-14T12:49:00.000-07:00

My dad's thyroid surgery went well. He came out of the hospital on Sunday.

Mum is very sick now and since getting my dad sick while recovering is a big no-no, she is staying at my sister's place.

Since I'm still not working, my hubby and I are staying here with my father, to take care of him.
It's not easy. Being as he was operated on the thyroid, it is very debilitating for him to even swallow. He gets the shakes pretty bad. I am hoping he'll feel better within the next day or two. I am doing everything I can, but short of taking his pain away, I just have to stand back and watch. I feel pretty helpless. It's not fun watching your father brought to his knees (in a sense) through pain. I feel awful for him.

Whenever possible, I am trying to take every opportunity I can to study while I'm here. I don't know if I'll be ready or not for the exam on the 26th, but I'm going to give it my best shot. While working on my writing, I am hoping I can work even just part-time as a Nutrition and Wellness Specialist. Moving forward always.

I just heard back from the publishing house and it is yet another rejection. Keeping my head up about it.

Once the exam is over and I have more time, I'll be back to the books, concentrating on where to submit it again. Not giving up. Persistence and patience.

The turns life takes

2010-06-04T18:19:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been awhile!

I've been home now since February. It has been a rollercoaster ride of emotion, but things are just beginning to settle.

We've been staying with my parents since then, and have now found an apartment in the city. During this time, I've sent my resume out to 91 different job applications. Have received 3 replies: not one interview.

It has been a bit depressing and frustrating I must say. I understand we came at a difficult time for all of us, but the novelty of being back has worn off and the pressure is really on to find work.

I have abandoned my writing since I tried to concentrate on settling down. We are now in the process of moving in. We've painted our apartment and are at my parent's house tonight, grabbing more things.

It has been a long road...I was hoping things would've been easier, but hey...who said life was easy!!

Our internet and phone will be connected next week, so we are very happy. Back to the rest of the world!

I decided to take a specialization course in Nutrition and Wellness and my exam is at the end of this month. If I pass, then pass the practical, I will be a N & W Specialist. Hopefully, that will take my life closer in the direction I am wanting.

I didn't realize how long it has been since I posted on my blog. It feels great to get time to write a little note. I am missing my writing life and writing friends, my outlet and my release.

Once we get everything connected and we are unpacked, hopefully I will have more time to dedicate to writing.

I hope everyone is well!! Am missing all of you very much. I will visit your blogs soon.

Heather, I did see your new blog. LOVE the new look! And of course, all your work looks beautiful! ;)

I must pay a visit to TWF. It has been way too long. I did get a chance to chat with Mike and Mindy, which was nice. Am missing the TWF family.

It seems this rollercoaster has not stopped just yet, but am leaving things in God's hands. We definitely need Him now. There's not much fight left in me now.

Big hug to everyone. Sorry for being MIA but have not forgotten my space. ;)

The move is on...

2010-01-15T07:54:00.000-08:00

Well, today the movers came and picked up all our stuff to bring to the warehouse. After measured and fitted, it will be put on its sea route back home. So, it's full on now!

I realized that I only have 3 more weeks at one school and 2 more weeks at the other school, before I'm done...hopefully for good!! Yes, I really want/need that break from teaching.

Now, we are focusing on the last things to dispose of from the house...most in the garbage and the rest in recycle shops.

I haven't had a workout since x-mas when I got sick...my body has been aching to get a good one in, but with being sick, then busy packing and finally once packed, no room to move, I've neglected my body.

I was so excited to see the floor of my house again today I swore I'd be working out tonight, but alas, am so exhausted from the day that I will have to start tomorrow. I see Terry's pictures and she's always so active, it make me miss my exercise even more.

But no complaints this week as things are coming together. As the days get closer, it gets more exciting and more tense as we don't know what the future holds. Praying to God I am...every day.

And now that that part of the moving process is done with, I spent the rest of the day planning out some of our future goals and projects to work towards, which will all have to start once we're back home.

I made a business proposal to the owner of the mag I've written for, unfortunately the woman does not and seems to have no intention of paying the people that work for her. I assumed that it went only for contributing writers, but it looks like it's for everyone...Hmmm...got me thinking. I'll keep my public comments to myself on this one, though.

Checked out some nature photographers in the area, hoping that once we're back we may find someone who would be willing to work with my husband to help him hone his craft as well, which will help us aim toward our goal of publishing together.

Also, once we are back from visiting my husband's family, I will be dedicating all my free time to getting my ESL business in order. I would like to see it up and running within the first 3 months of being back in Canada, so it will be alot of work.

In terms of writing, I had to pack up all my writing stuff, so with the rejection of the literary agent, my Canadian writer's market out of reach, I will have to wait until I'm back home and unpacked before sending out another query.

I am still waiting on the other two queries I sent out, for my short story compilation and my children's book.

I also began to draft another children's story. I've got about 8 characters and the first story written, in first draft. Once back home, will look it over again, and probably send that one out to an agent or another publishing house.

I have exactly 3 weeks to meet the quota for an online mag I write for, or I will have to cancel the contract...with everything that has taken my time, I haven't been able to give proper attention to that.

All in all, we are happy that things are moving along...time is passing pretty quickly and we are excited about that. We are both excited, happy, anxious and a little tense, but convinced that this will be a good move and is the right decision.

But, as my sweet husband says, whatever happens, as long as we stick together and deal with things as a couple, discussing things thoroughly and honestly, we'll handle whatever comes our way.

Can you say C R A Z Y???

2010-01-05T08:13:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I haven't been on here or anyone else's blog in a while.

Things have been quite busy as we are getting ready for the move. I realize it's not until February, but we must prepare to send our things over early, which is what we've been doing.

I've been on holidays from work since the 23rd of December. From the 24th of December I was feeling sick and by the 26th I was downright out of commission. Battling tonsilitis, bronchitis, sinusitis and every other 'itis' one could imagine. I actually began to feel better this past Sunday. So more than an entire week of my holidays I spent in the house and in bed.

Now we are short on time, as you could imagine. We have done loads of re-distributing, organizing and packing. The boxes are almost done and ready to be sent. I am hoping to be able to call the moving company this week to come and get our stuff next week.

At times, I wonder if it's even worth paying the money to send over all this stuff, but my husband brought up a really good point.

We are not rich and with him having been unemployed an entire year, we haven't been able to save what we could have saved. I am still not debt-free and apparently, according to Canadian financial advisors, 2010 is NOT the year to be in debt and are suggesting one do whatever they can within their means to reduce and get rid of debts this year.

I was looking over apartment prices and HOLY COW!! The cost of living in Ontario has increased DRASTICALLY since the last time I lived there.

So, with all this financial strain yet to come, my hubby said that it doesn't make sense to give away or sell everything we have here, for $50, if we are LUCKY to get that, when we've spent thousands of dollars on this stuff. Only to go to Canada and have to pay thousands to get it all again over there, on top of a new apartment, a new car and everything else we will need to live.
Since we've already spent the money and have the stuff, we might as well just keep it. This way, our 'start-up' expenses will be cheaper.

I suppose he's right. But I still wish things were easier.

You'd think after being away for so long I'd have more to show for it, financially. But I was never good at saving. I made stupid decisions on how to get my education and have been paying my college fees multiplied by 10 now, and I'm still not free. It's not smart to pay for college on a credit card, but it was the only option left for me with the circumstances I was in.

Living abroad, my country refused to help me with student loans. Living abroad, my bank refused to help with a loan. So if I wanted a degree, I'd have to pay for it with plastic. Which I did. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I've paid my university fees off years ago but have been paying interest fees ever since. It just doesn't stop.

*sigh*

On another note, while I was under the weather, I finally had the time to finish my cross-stitch embroidered pillow. It only took 6 months! LOL

But here is the final product. It is a little off as it should have been square and not rectangle, but that was my misjudgement. Nevertheless, I am very proud of myself. And that little pillow is coming back home with me.

I thoroughly enjoyed it. I just wish I had more time to dedicate to learn more crafts and to learn how to do them better. It's such a peaceful and satisfying way to pass time.

I've been writing articles but haven't heard anything yet on my submissions for my books. Still crossing my fingers. I SO want to write for a living.

That would be a true blessing. To be able to go back home and begin a writing career. I could finally stop teaching.

Well, it's 1:30 in the morning here and I'm not tired in the least, but I will sign off.

Have missed my TWF friends and everyone else. Hanging on with happy thoughts, okay a bit mixed, but trying to focus on the 'adventure' of it all!

Profiled in the magazine

2009-11-13T05:19:00.000-08:00

Well, here is a scanned copy of the profile they did on me, as the magazine rep for my prefecture.

It's strange to see myself in the mag ;)

Now I must work on being profiled AS A WRITER!! ;) lol

Lindsay Ann Hawker's killer caught

2009-11-10T04:00:00.000-08:00

Well, it looks like Tatsuya Ichihashi either turned himself in, or had no choice to.

He is being held in Osaka, Japan.

Here is the link.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/coventry_warwickshire/8352230.stm

It appears he had a bit of reconstructive surgery to his face and it seems that info has leaked that his mom is apparently a dentist!

I am just so relieved that he is now in police custody. Ever since I wrote the memoriam article about Lindsay, I have kept thinking of her and her killer...

I imagine the Hawker family is very relieved, but I am sure now they will have to face more ugly details to finally get closure.

But perhaps now, whatever ghosts haunt them can finally be put to rest and they can move on.

New energy

2009-10-20T04:59:00.000-07:00

My poor husband :)

I've been on such a high since we received the news! lol

I took out all my Canada pictures and showed him the places I want to take him to. It gave me such a feeling of pride and homesickness.

It's funny. Up until the moment we received the initial rejection for my husband to come into the country, I was never homesick. And to be honest, I wasn't sure when I'd return.

But the moment I knew I couldn't, the urge was just so strong. On top of the fact that we lost a favourite uncle and almost lost my father, the desire to return consumed me.

Now that we can, I just can't wait! Spring feels like a lifetime away!

I know it will pass fast, but I'm just so happy and relieved and all warm and fuzzy inside, I am like a little child. lol

At the risk of sounding like a geeky Laura Ingalls, I must say: Home is the best word I know!

Happy thoughts, everyone!! :) Because mine are ecstatic!

Another published article of mine

2009-10-20T04:47:00.000-07:00

Well, I just got another article published. It went up today.

This one is for Avenues Magazine, here in Japan.

Here is the link:

http://www.centraljapan.jp/history_details.php?id=93

Things are coming together :)

WE DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-10-16T21:35:00.000-07:00

We received my husband's ACCEPTANCE into Canada today!!!!

I cannot believe it! They advised it would take 6 months and we received it after a month from the first letter from Tokyo.

It arrived by registered mail today. I signed for it and while praying fervently to God, opened it up. The first line says: You will find your VISA affixed to your passport.

I must have read that line about 15 times before I could move forward. I had to keep rubbing my eyes to make sure it was right. I skimmed through the rest and then picked up his passport and opened it.

The moment I saw that BEAUUUUTIFUL red stamp, my hands started shaking and the tears came...and boy did they come!

I went to the bedroom to wake up my husband, but by the time I got there, the tears were flowing full-force I could barely breathe.

So he woke up thinking someone had died. I flashed his passport in his face because I couldn't talk. Then he thought he was rejected. Still not speaking because of the tears I opened it to the VISA stamp.

When he saw it, then he knew. And all I could do was nod my head up and down like a dummy, because I still couldn't talk. lolol

So now we know: WE ARE COMING HOME!!

God, it feels so good to say that :)

I'm crying while typing this by the way...lol

I could have never gotten through this with a solid thought if it hadn't been for my dear friends Mike and Heather. You guys are completely awesome and gave me such a stronghold. Thank you for everything.

Now, we are thinking about the best route to consider with timelines as well.

He has another month and a half to finish his photography course, then it will be Christmas, which will be too expensive to fly as well as the dead of winter. So we are going to wait until after Christmas and the New Year and send over stuff by crate.

We are thinking to stick to March as the time to come. That will be when the freezing cold is over and perfect timing to arrive, find a place to settle in, then fly to Brazil to meet his family for a month then come back.

We'll be back in Canada by April or May, which is the right time to start interviewing for teaching jobs.

Things all worked out and I am just overwhelmingly grateful.

I can't wait to step foot on Canada soil, see my country's flag, my people, my family. I can't wait to introduce my special husband to my amazing family.

I can't wait to drink Tim Horton's coffee, to have dinner at Swiss Chalet, to see the snow, to speak English, to watch English TV, to visit Canada's Wonderland, Niagara Falls, to drive up to Barrie, Ontario and make maple syrup (which I hate, but will eat when I come!!) and to be among my fellow Canadians.

Canada...my home.

I'm coming home, guys.

Signing off with tears and happy thoughts.

xo

Ever had a Yo-Yo day?

2009-10-07T05:52:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is not a happy post.

Things have been very different for me these last couple of years. I have lost lots of 'friends' and have been struggling to get my hubby accepted into my country.

I always thought the one thing I could rely on was my job. I've been here for quite a few years, have had an amazing rapport with my boss, who just happens to be the head of the Board of Education. He's the head honcho.

Unfortunately, an 'ex-friend' has kind of swept in and seems to have made himself appear like a GOD and I've felt the rapport with my boss has changed. He no longer asks my opinion on things and no longer treats me the same. Not bad, just not the same.

This ex friend is ONE: a man and TWO: fluent in Japanese.Those two things alone make the Japanese swoon over him as if he is Buddha incarnate.

Like I said, I thought I could rely on my job, until tonight.I just received a phone call from my boss asking what my plans are after my contract is up in 6 MONTHS.

I've worked for the man for almost 5 years. Contracts are not discussed until x-mas time. I told him that I'm waiting on the Consulate's decision for my hubby's application and we were advised we should find out by Feb-March. My contract is up March 31st.

I understand they can't wait until the last minute to find out if I'll stay or not, because they will need to replace me if I leave and March will be too short of a notice. But I DID expect they give me at least until January.

He made it clear in his own Japanese beat around the bush sort of way, that they need to know NOW. And if I can't tell them NOW, then I can't expect to have a job after March, if my hubby is denied.

This came out of the blue and I am really deflated. I can't shake the feeling that my so called friend had alot to do with this. And it disgusts me.

I hate hypocritical people. I hate people who think and act like they are better than others. The only thing this guy has on me is his Japanese skills, because when it comes to the job, I have more experience, more know-how and I've had the most results.

So now, come March, either my hubby will be accepted into my country and we can leave as soon as my contract is ended. = the perfect scenario (and we all know how often THAT happens.) OR I will be out of a job, out of a house and with a husband who cannot live with me in my country.

This is a very crappy night.

BTW, we are in the middle of a typhoon...sounds like my windows are going to shatter from the wind and rain.

I'm feeling so down. Have you ever just felt so defeated, so double-crossed and felt like the whole world is against you?

In all my years in Japan, if I were to leave tomorrow, I would be leaving this country with 0 friends. Count 'em. ZERO.

Yes, I have 'friends' we hang out with sometimes, but it's just that kind of temporary friendship as they too have found that finding true friendships in Japan seem almost impossible. Being on work contracts, everyone just seems to be out for themselves.

I can't tell you all how ready I am to leave here. I miss my family, my friends, and a reality I can deal with.

Japan is just too superficial for my liking. And I've been here long enough to know about it. I am tired of this place.

I can't believe how things have turned out. I don't know how this has happened. I have had the worst luck with people here. I swear.

I'm trying to stay positive but it is so hard.

I just received a message from the BAB magazine and they would like to profile me for their magazine next month. I mean, that is great news, right? It's an honour. So yes, I'm trying to focus on better things, but tonight has just got me thrown for a loop.

New ideas...

2009-09-21T05:54:00.000-07:00

Well, it seems our life has been pretty uneventful these past few weeks, but some dear friends have had some excitement, good and bad.

My dear TWFriend, Terry had some disappointment with her writing, but she is an amazing woman (love her active life) and great writer, I have all the faith in her she will succeed and receive richer blessings than she anticipated.

My other dear friend Mike is dealing with some family problems right now. He is always one offering and willing to help others through encouragement and action, and I just wish there was something I could do for him and his family. Hang in there, Mike! We're thinking of you.

My other dear friend Satoshi, has had to change his life plans and return to Japan as his sweet father's health has declined for the worse. Now, there is a possibility he may need his leg amputated.

If there was ever a Japanese family that I would be proud to welcome into my own, it would be his. He, along with his parents are the nicest people I have met on this side of the world and just feel terrible they are dealing with such a tragic situation.

And if there was ever a time I wish I was fluent in Japanese it is now. So I could offer words of encouragement to that beautiful family.

I am the kind of person who may not say it or even show it often, but I always have my friends in my thoughts and heart.

As for us, nothing REALLY eventful has happened. Just little things that help keep our spirits up.

We finally received a letter from the Immigration office in Tokyo.

The application has been received and is in process of review... Cross your fingers and toes everyone...pleeease!

They stated it should take about 6 months...Soooo....if all goes well and they accept him, that will bring us to February, which is perfect as my work contract is up in March...

Do you know what that means?? We could be stepping foot on Canadian soil in March!!! I'LL BE HOME!!!!! YAAYYYY!!!

Please pray for us!

I received a rejection letter from the literary agency I sent it to, for my novel. So, I sent it directly to a publishing house and have another two publishing houses I will be sending it to. They all accept simultaneous submissions, so hopefully I'll receive good news.

I haven't heard anything from the publishing houses I sent queries to for my children's book or my 'Japan' book. So, still hoping there. :)

My hubby gave me a good idea..actually refreshed an old idea of mine.

I had written a book of ESL lesson plans and curriculums a few years back. The clipdrive the info was on was stolen at work, but I still have a hardcopy of all I created.

It took me two years to do, but then I started on my novel and any further chance of putting it back into electronic files was put on the back burner.

My hubby suggested I start an ESL website. I had tossed the idea around awhile back in my own mind but pushed it aside. Now, I am actually considering it and think I will do it!

It will be in English, Spanish and Portuguese. I will design and upload all my work in English and translate it into Spanish. Then my hubby will help with the Portuguese links.

It should take about 6 months to finish all my designs and everything I will be adding, which will be perfect timing.

I should finish by February, March and once I get back to Canada, will set up the webpage.

So, another project is in the works.

I still haven't finished the edits to my novel, but I figure I still have time for that.

busy, busy busy.

Happy thoughts.

The busier we are, the faster time flies and the closer we are to reach our goals!!

Triple yay!!

Wishing everyone a wonderful week and happy thoughts. :)

Back to work / school / work /school

2009-08-31T07:38:00.000-07:00

Ugh...okay, so it's 11:30 at night and I am not tired.

I have to wake up at 6:00 in the morning to get ready for my first day back at work after a month of holidays and I'm soo not happy.

Don't get me wrong. I love teaching. I really do. But I need a break. It's been over 11 years. I'm tired and to be honest, a little bored with it.

I'm hoping it won't be for very long anymore, and praying praying praying my book queries get accepted and actually work for me to support me writing full-time...at which point, I'll jump for joy, rent a big neon sign and helicopter and announce it to the whole of Canada my dream has come true!! lol

Okay, okay, not so drastic...maybe just some fireworks on the beach! :)

Since I've been sleeping late at night this whole past month, I tried to remedy the situation and make myself tired by doing a Tae-Bo Bootcamp kickass video for 45 mins, an hour of bellydancing and drank 3 glasses of wine.

Guess what? I'm WIDE awake...:(

So, I thought I'd leave a little note to my lovely blogger friends to let you know there is one very unhappy Canuck in Japan at the moment...

BUT, I am still concentrating on happy thoughts as I focus much attention on the decreasing heat and coming of FALL, my favourite season, and that September marks the month of countdown that ANY day, ANY moment, we should be receiving news about my hubby's application.

Sooo...my vacation HAD to end, so September could come and we could get closer to knowing something...

SEE??? I always find a roundabout way to stick to my resolution of no anger, just calm and relaxation and happy thoughts :)

Seriously I will have to get to bed and try to sleep...maybe I'll smack my head against the wall really hard to knock myself out...that should do it...

Actually the trick would be to sit by my husband and watch him play his damn Playstation games...that should get me snoring in minutes.

I absolutely hate that thing and will never understand or fathom the concept of how grown men can waste brain cells voluntarily on something so useless...but that's another story.

Wishing everyone a wonderful week and I will stop by soon enough to leave another message and check everyone's posts... :)

Nite nite :)

Long time no write!

2009-08-11T21:58:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I've stopped by and said hello, leaving some thoughts.
These past couple of months have been hectic, and I really miss my space, reading my friend's spaces and catching up.

In the past couple of months, I've written my query letters and have sent them out to different publishing houses, thanking some of my wonderful TWF friends who helped me edit the queries to be at their best!

3 books, 4 publishing houses and 1 literary agent, for my novel.

I really am praying that they will be accepted and I can finally be able to work from home, concentrating on my writing. We are now going on 3 months since I've sent my husband's application for Canada, so I am hoping that by the time we hear from them (with a hopeful acceptance), I will hear about my queries.

It would be a wonderful blessing to be able to pack up and go back home, and plunge myself into a life of writing, in my homeland, close to my family, friends and loved ones.

I've been out of the corporate world for almost 12 years and to be quite honest, I'm a wee bit terrified to have to go back to that. Especially in Canada. I am now so used to the pleasant courteous Japanese way and to the exceptions I have here as a foreigner, I wouldn't know how to integrate myself into an environment with opinionated, tell it like it is, kind of people anymore. (Although I'm one of them!! LOL)

So now that the queries are out, I'm working madly on the final edits of my novel, which are done, except I am thinking of re-writing the ending, all of a sudden. I hadn't read it in awhile and when I went back to editing at the beginning of the month, suddenly felt the last few chapters were garbage and now want to re-work it.
Since my queries are out, I MUST finish it soon!

I am waiting on some answers to requests I sent out via email, to get some expert advice about some things that come up in the story. Haven't heard back yet. I suppose helping a writer isn't on one's priority list. :)

I also must finish writing 3 short stories to finish my compilation of short stories, which I've also sent out a query for.

Sending out the queries when things are not completely finished, is a great motivation to get my butt to the chair, hands to the keyboard and type!

The other exciting thing happened yesterday morning (Aug. 11).

We were advised we would have a typhoon, but instead Mother Nature played a cruel joke on us.

At 5:07, we were hit with a strong earthquake. I believe it measured 6 point something on the scale. Japanese scale for measuring the intensity is different than the richter.

To give you an idea, my house, nor the things in it were shaking. No, no. No shaking...they were JUMPING! My house was literally jumping and we had to hang on for dear life. After quite a few seconds and quite a few violent jumps, the shaking began.

The intense moments felt like they lasted a good 45 secs to a minute (which is a bloody long time!!) then the low, trembling of the foundation continued for awhile.

The earthquake came from about 20 kms directly beneath our area of the earth's surface and caused the city water pipelines to explode. So we had no water.

I must admit, the Japanese are used to this kind of thing, as emergency procedures were put into action immediately!

Trucks were posted all over the place with tanks of freshwater for everyone. We got our fill and they gave us an emergency pack of 6 litres, very effective, made of some incredible tough plastic with wire to carry over our shoulders, in case we need to run.

When the pipelines were eventually restored, the water was black and red, very rusty, so it was only good for flushing the toilet.

The aftershocks were felt until about 7 pm that night. And the city kept announcing different refuge sites for each neighbourhood of the city. Luckily we live directly across the street from ours.

Also, my town is approx. a km from the ocean coast, so we were put on a Tsunami alert. The webpage on the net advised no tsunami warning for the earthquake, but our city kept putting us on emergency alert, using huge sirens to announce procedures to everyone in the city.

We were shaken, especially since our Japanese is not nearly good enough to understand all the details.

At about 7:30 pm I brought some sweet breads to the old men who were distributing water to everyone, for which they were extremely grateful. I spoke with them for a few minutes, and they patiently explained in Japanese 'layman's terms' for me, what the announcements were saying. We had pretty much understood everything, but it was still nice to have it explained again, to make sure.

They gave me another 6 litre pack of emergency water and wished me care and I wished them care as well.

Needless to say, my husband and I didn't get to sleep that night, eventually dozing off at about 6 a.m. I was up by 9 a.m. LOL! :)

Today, we woke up to a beautiful day, with the sun out and clean tapwater, it appears. And everyone is out and about their business as usual.

This scare only made me pray even more fervently to God, to help my husband's acceptance into Canada.

I realize we have our own battles with nature in Canada, but take it from me: the fear you feel in a natural potential disaster is quite intense, but the intensity is escalated when you are completely alone, with no family, no friends and can't fully understand what is happening or being said around you.

My husband and I have each other, but it can still get lonely being in a country that neither of us truly belong to.

But today is a new day and we are grateful for life and grateful for each other, continuing with happy thoughts as always. We are now more than ever looking forward to coming home and will continue to take advantage of the time we have here, so we can leave here feeling completely satisfied that we enjoyed Japan.

I guess that is all for now, so I'll sign off and I promise it won't be another two months before you hear from me again! *wink

Take care my friends and happy thoughts! :)

Funny quotes

2009-05-30T22:19:00.000-07:00

Continuing with happy thoughts, here are some quotes that bring a smile to my face and thought I'd share.

Hope everyone has a wonderful week!

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
~Bill Cosby~

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
~Hedy Lamarr~

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. ~Ellen DeGeneres~

Cheers, everyone :)

Adventure gone bad...

2009-05-27T17:08:00.000-07:00

Light warning: this is a bit of a vent, but something that I needed to get off my chest. Bad experiences tend to dwell in our minds, until we release them.

A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I headed off to a place north of here, called Kamikochi, with some friends.

Two of them are avid outdoor lovers, who hike, ski, cycle 100's of kms a day, etc.

The others were a family. Husband, wife and 8 year old son. All virgins to the 'outdoor experience'.

Then us two. Not virgins per se, but definite novices. We cycle, we walk, but this was our first time to actually camp in a tent and hike in the mountains. Although, camping has been on my 'want' list for a couple years, until I met my friends, I had no one to guide us.

So, my hubby and the father of the 8 year old, had a photography trekking trip Sunday morning with a tour, and the plan was the rest of us would go hiking, and then meet up with them later.

The initial plan was to leave Friday at 3 A.M, get there at 7 am. Set up camp close to the car, sleep for a couple of hours, then head out on our hike the first day, with campgear to go further into the mountains.

They told me the highway was offering the road for only 1,000 yen (10 dollars) for the weekend, so we all wanted to take advantage of it.

The next day, my hubby and his friend would go on their trekking tour and the rest of us would go in the other direction. We'd meet up in the afternoon. Have a camp/bonfire, sleep and head back the next day.

This is what actually happened:

We decided we would leave Friday at 9 pm, after work, because of the traffic. Leaving this early would get us there around 2 am and we'd have plenty of time to sleep and head out fresh in the morning.

My friend calls me Friday at 3 pm to say he and his fiancee decided to stay another two days, because instead of hiking up Mt. Fuji, they wanted to hike up Mt. Yarigatake, near the campsite. And since they are all going in the one car with the family, my hubby and I would have to either decide to stay for another two days or head back alone.

My hubby nor I read Japanese, so heading back alone would be an adventure, but we always do road trips. I said fine. My hubby had spent $150 to go on this trekking tour with his friend, so we weren't going to back out now. Especially when the initial trip was supposed to be them tagging along with us, as my hubby and his friend were doing the photography trek.

So, we get to our friends' house at 9 pm Friday night. They're not packed. We end up leaving at midnight. Driving there ended up taking not the 4 hours our friend promised it would take, but TEN hours. We arrived at Kamikochi at 10 a.m. I had begged my friends to stop and let me sleep for an hour on the road, which they acquiesced. I got 54 minutes before they hit my window to wake me up.

The two men in the other car, took turns driving, while their wives and the boy slept the whole ride there, in the backseat. I had to do this drive on my own, as my husband only has a motorcycle license and we were in the car.

So, we arrive at 10 a.m. Saturday morning and I've only had 54 minutes sleep since Thursday. I get ready to have my powernap, as was promised for an hour, before we head off hiking to the campsite.

No powernap, Aurora. We gotta get a move on. I ended up getting angry, so they reluctantly gave me 30 minutes. In the 15 minutes that passed, while they got their gear going, the murmurs were so blatantly obvious, I got out of the car and got my gear ready, not speaking to anyone.

We get to the bus and finally to Kamikochi entrance at mid-day. The first campsite is only ten minutes from here, we were informed. It was also only 10 minutes from the meeting point my husband and his friend had to go to the next morning to meet the photography school tour.

My friend insisted the other campsite was better. It was prettier, and safer and incidentally, practically at the base of the mountain he and his woman would hike in two days.

It was also an estimated 2 hours away.

With a family of 3 hiking virgins, a married couple who hadn't slept in 36 hours and 70 kilos to carry, we were not happy. My hubby's friend could barely stand. His wife looked like she was about to cry and my husband was fuming and walking as if the devil were on his heels, leaving everyone behind.

I had spoken with my friend to ask him to see reason. The two men would need to make this trek again in the morning for their tour. They weren't going to hike the mountain for another two days. Can we not camp at the first site today to make it easier and then head out to the next one tomorrow?

No, no. Really. The other one is better. Let's go everyone! We're here now and we're a team! Be with us!

Off we go.

We had hiked 3.5 kms in two hours when we stopped at a curry stop for food. When my husband's friend, who speaks Japanese advised us we hadn't hit even the halfway point, (the estimation was wrong), my husband blew his gasket.

He had words with our friend, who called us 'wimps' and insulted us. We ended up in a huge fight. We carried on until the end.

The hike took 6 hours total. We got there just before it got dark. Incidentally, the campsite had nothing but an inn, which we didn't use and a drink vending machine.

Our friend lends us his summer tent and says please don't eat food in the tent. So, it was dark, we had a few bites of a bagel and tried to sleep in the tent, before 8 pm.

It was 9:30 pm when I woke my husband from my shaking. I was absolutely freeeeezing!!
I thought my body was going to go into shock. I scared the hell out of my husband, who quickly took me out of the tent and made me walk around to get my blood circulating. He bought me a hot drink and we walked for hours.

So, it's Saturday night, I had slept a total of 54 minutes since Thursday. My friend, in his winter tent and sleeping bag, was snoring.

We met the boy's mother outside at about 11:30 practically in tears, because her son was sick. He was freezing cold and had cramps in his legs, she didn't know what to do. We were in the middle of nowhere, and our friend who is apparently an expert, was snoring away peacefully.

We ended up making it through one of the longest nights of our lives and at 3:30 with the first sign of light, my hubby wanted to pack up and go home because he was very angry.

I convinced him to stay and do his trekking tour. I wasn't going to stay another night either, because I was really angry as well, at my friends, for their complete lack of consideration for us novices.

My husband and his friend, who also didn't sleep that night, and looked like he was ready to keel over, left the site to start the hike back to the meeting point, at 6 am.

His friend said his wife would help me bring the stuff back to meet them in the afternoon. They wanted to leave as well, but couldn't since they had come in the same car as our friends.

I sat by myself on a bench eating a bagel and hot coffee and watching a group of over 50 year old Japanese people getting ready to hike the mountain.

My 'expert' outdoor friends of mine came walking up while I was talking to an Argentinian guy on the bench about how I admire the strength and tenacity Japanese people have to endure things, at an older age.

My friend went on to tell me that this experience shouldn't put me off doing something like this again. In his "24 years of experience" he knows what he is talking about.

I said that in his boasted "24 years of experience" he should've known better than to give a summer tent to us in the northern mountains, knowing we had just bought summer sleeping bags, been more considerate to my need for sleep (it was now on to 48 hours of no sleep apart from the 54 mins he allotted on the highway), and been more considerate to the family with a child and not expected two novice hikers to hike 6 kms in the morning, after no sleep to hike another 6 hours on a tour, to only have to hike back another 6 kms to meet us, all because he wanted to be at the base of the mountain.

I told him that if they were such pro's, they should've been the ones to hike 6 kms to the mounain to start their trek. They did everything to make it easier for them, the supposed experts.

At this point, an older Japanese man putting on his hiking gear beside us, turned to my friend and asked in English, "Have you ever rock-climbed? Or do you just hike up mountains?"

My friend told him no, he had never rock-climbed.

The Japanese man said, his exact words: "In your 24 years experience as you say, don't you think it's time to try rock-climb?"

We were all taken aback, because we had no idea he spoke English. So, it turns out this man, who happened to be 63 years old!!!!, understood everything we had discussed.

He made it clear to my friend that he didn't approve of what had happened on this trip for us novices. How could I have enjoyed this trip when we started out all wrong?

The man then turned to me, wished me good luck and left.

My friend was embarassed and I had to admit, I was a little delighted. He deserved that.

Anyhow, I ended up packing my bags and my friend helped carry everything back to meet my husband and we left.

One last thing my friend 'forgot to mention' was the road was being offered for $10 for those with magnetic ETC cards and accounts. Since I didn't have one, we ended up paying 17,000 yen, to use the highway to go on this hiking disaster and home. That is the equivalent of $150.00.
I was not happy.

What could've been an incredibly fun and adventurous holiday, turned into a real bummer.

My friends are now not talking to us, because they are angry my husband freaked out. We are wimps, according to them. I told them he and I had every right to speak up. We should have made decisions as a team, rather than he taking over everything. I told them they are inconsiderate and condescending and that I cannot understand why it is beyond their understanding that they acted in total disregard for the others on a trip that initially didn't even include them.

So, after almost two months of 'happy thoughts' and 'new resolutions' to be more optimistic, I have broken down and vented in a pessimistic manner.

As much as I have been let down in the past from so-called friends, people always amaze me. I am starting to think dogs truly are man's best friend. And to hell with homosapiens!

I promise I will not harp on this, but I wanted to include it here in my blog. I needed the vent, and to just get it off my chest.

My husband went out and bought a really nice tent of our own. We have our camping gear ready, and we will be heading out to Fuji Five lakes and will be camping around the base of Mt. Fuji, for a few days next month.

We will camp...our way. We will hike, our way. Getting plenty of rest, proper nutrition and proper gear.

*phew*

There, I'm done. Sorry for the vent, but I promise to be much more uplifting in the next post....
Sometimes, we just need to let it out of our system. And what better way than through writing...

I hope everyone is having a good week and catch up with you all soon!

Now off to make myself some green tea.

Happy thoughts!

My next article!

2009-05-23T22:11:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone!

I hope everyone is having a good weekend. My weekend started out lovely as I checked my mailbox on Saturday morning and found copies of the magazine with my next article published inside.

I don't want to be a sourpuss, but I am a little disappointed in the mag. Their editing machines must have been on havoc mode this print session, as throughout the entire magazine, the apostrophes were missing 90% of the time, there were separations mid-word and it just looks very poor.

This is the first time I've ever received an edition of the mag like this, so I think it must have been a problem with the print press. Unfortunately, that poses a dampening balloon on the writers who had articles this month, me included.

I was hoping to give the editor at the Toronto Star a call about the article I submitted to him last month, using this article as a tearsheet for him to look at. Well, that's not going to happen now.

I am happy with the write, just not the presentation.

Nevertheless, it is another tearsheet and I am grateful for that! Happy thoughts!

So, here is the article. Just click on it for a larger view. Enjoy the read!

Back to the world of blogging:)

2009-05-09T07:49:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I haven't been around for awhile to write anything.

To be honest, there wasn't much new to write about until now.

Okay...*taking deep breath*...where do I start?

Well, I can start by saying I'm very proud of myself for keeping up with embroidering and have finally finished the picture!! yay!!

Now, I have to look for stuffing (Lord only knows what that is...I'll have to ask someone at the store) and sew the zipper and I will have finished my first piece! I promise once I stuff it and 'zip' it, I will add a picture, so I can share this small but satisfying triumph with you all. :)

Another wonderful "finishing" triumph is that I've finally finished my first draft of my novel!! DOUBLE YAY!! It is finally finished!

Okay, yes, it's a month later than I had hoped, but I'm not stressing about that, I'm just happy it is finished.

I am now on my next goal of editing it by the end of June. I will have to make some phone calls to get some "expert" advice on certain things in the book, to make sure it's credible. I'm a little nervous about phoning doctors and agencies, but hopefully I will find someone nice enough to lend me a few minutes of their time, free of charge.

I can't complain that it took me longer than usual, because when I wasn't focused on my writing, I was focused on my husband's paperwork to get him to Canada. Another triumph!

We have everything ready to go!! FINALLY! We will be going to a medical appointment at the end of the week and then sending in the application. It will finally be out of my hands and the waiting will begin.

Please keep us in your prayers since I honestly don't know how I will react if he gets rejected to coming to Canada.

I want to come home. And I want my husband with me. Is that too much to ask?

Another wonderful triumph, although more for my husband rather than me, is that his photography is coming along beautifully. I've failed him miserably in his studies with an American photography school, to be his translator to help him with his assignments. As such, what should've taken four months is now going on a year. And I admit it is completely my fault.

I am just too tired to teach English all day, then come home and translate all night. My brain is fried.

So we have now found a Brazilian photographer who has his own school and offers courses in Brazilian Protuguese...my hubby went on a trekking tour offered by the school and learned more in that one day, then in the months I've been translating half-backwards, the assignments.

And in that one day with what he's learned, his pictures are improving. I'm so proud of him. He's getting more excited as each day passes that he has finally found 'his calling'...it's much like writing. He is taking pictures every day. Much like we should feel the need to write everyday.

So, we are now contemplating in enrolling him in the Portuguese school. It is an opportunity I think we need to take advantage of while we are here, since he probably won't be able to do this in Canada as classes are offered in English, which he doesn't speak.

Of course, it is a decision not to be taken lightly since I am the only one working and we have just paid a fortune for the documents needed for his Canada papers.

But we are are continuing with happy thoughts, of course:)

*phew*

Well, it feels good to be able to write something on my blog, which I haven't done for awhile. I've missed it! I tell ya' this blogging is addictive!!

My next article is coming out this month as well. So I promise to put it up for you all to read.

Have a wonderful week everyone!

Happy thoughts :)

Rejection, but still smiling

2009-04-17T07:22:00.001-07:00

Well, I received the rejection letter in the mail for my picture book. I'm a little disappointed, but hardly crushed.

I will keep persevering. I'm going to do some edits, perhaps re-arrange the story a bit and send it out again. Hopefully, I will have a better response with the next one. :)

I would also like to add that I am two chapters away from finishing my novel. YAY!!!!

I am soo happy! Once it is finished, I will then spend the next couple of months doing edits (I plan to re-write the first four or five chapters...eliminating some characters and doing some shifts in the story timeline).

But I am confident that I will be on schedule with my goal of being ready to submit by the summer.

I have also started up with my Arabic studies once again. Can you believe I am still on the alphabet...it's bloody hard!! LOL
But I remembered alot and I am finally getting used to the phonics as well. Sweet. :)

Also, we've finally received the last documents needed for my husband's application. Now, it's just a couple of quick things on my end here, and the papers can be sent off! DOUBLE YAY!

So, although yes, I am finishing the week with a rejection of my writing, I am not feeling that low, as other things have happened to help me stay positive and feel that much closer to our goals.

I hope everyone had a productive and wonderful week and now can relax and enjoy the weekend.

Happy thoughts, everyone and happy weekend. :)

Quote of the Week

2009-04-12T05:37:00.000-07:00

It has been a rather uneventful week, other than going back to work. :( :( :(
Can you tell I'm not happy about that? lol

On Saturday, my husband and I woke up and went for a bike ride. It felt absolutely wonderful for the both of us to be out doing something. And the weather is just right now. In a month, month and a half, it will be unbearingly hot and I'll feel too weak to go out and do stuff.

But it is another resolution I have, along with my husband this time...to work up a great routine of cycling. I want to get back into it...So, on top of Tae-bo and belly-dancing, I am hoping to be cycling regularly, going farther distances as each week passes.

A friend of ours inspired us. He'd been feeling down lately, so he decided to cycle from here to Hiroshima on his holidays...It turned out to be more or less 1,000 kms...and he did it, I believe
in about 8 or 9 days.

The longest I've ever cycled was just over 50 kms in a day...pathetic, aren't I?? LOL

Anyhow, so my hubby and I shook our laziness and hit the trails. We didn't go very far...we only did 25 kms...but it's a start... Every weekend we'll be adding an extra 10-15 kms...our goal is to be able to cycle to the city he used to live and back, before the summer hits us. Which is about 80 kms total...

It doesn't seem like much, but for someone who couldn't ride a bike for years, I'm happy to be getting back into it.

Our ride felt great for the both of us...it was wonderful to be out in the sun, enjoying the natural beauty around us. My husband in particular was feeling very refreshed, as he loves cycling and did it quite a bit before. So he's a great motivation for me, as he will help to push our goal farther and farther...who knows? We might hit a 100 kms in one day! I think I'd throw a party if I could do that! :) :)

I tell ya'...it's a great way to spend a Saturday morning: cycling under the sun and feeling the leaves of cherry blossoms caress your cheeks or arms, as they slowly fall to the ground with the light cool breeze.

So, since it is my first touch with nature in a while and the beginning of yet another resolution for myself and this time, my husband as well, I thought I'd leave a couple of quotes about nature, for the week.

These are both from the same author and describe well the recompense one gets when they do their part to interact and appreciate the natural art around us.

"In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks."

"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings."

~John Muir~

Have a happy week everyone!

My 2nd Crafts Project

2009-04-06T05:39:00.000-07:00

When I had my initiation into crafts, paper quilling was the main focus. It was fun and I was able to finish a project within a couple hours...albeit, simple designs, but I did it.

Since then, I've been stocking up on designs and trying to load up on flowers and hearts and leaves and whatnot...filling my 'quilling case', this way it's done and I can just grab what I want, put it together and go from there.

After the quilling, I moved on to another craft that requires quite alot more detail and patience: embroidery.

I had just begun the design for my mini pillow that day and since then, whenever I get a chance, I spend a half hour - an hour continuing...I admit it's coming along very slowly, but I love seeing it come together.

I think I've done enough now where I can add a picture of it, so you can see it and kind of get an idea of what it's supposed to be. *wink wink*

So, here is what I am working on now:

A 10 minutes here, half hour there and it's slowly coming along. :)

These minute details take time, but it's time well-spent. :)

I am also proud to say that I haven't had any angry moments this past week either...I'm following my self-improvement resolutions as best I can.

Still singing 'happy thoughts' when I feel my patience running thin and my temper getting the better of me, and it is working, so I am also quite happy about that :)

The day after tomorrow, it is back to work for me...NOT happy about that :(

I really love staying home...I realize now that since I didn't pursue my dream of being a criminologist or a human rights lawyer, the corporate world doesn't interest me...

I've really enjoyed the last couple of weeks at home with my husband. I was able to get so much done.

I am sad to announce that I didn't reach my writing goal, which was to finish my novel by this week, but I have done well...just these past two days, I've written more than 14 chapters. So I'm nearing the end. I am looking to have it done by the end of this month.

Last night, I stayed up until 3:00 a.m., typing. I love the freedom of being able to do that. :)

Tomorrow I will be meeting with a friend who has just returned home after backpacking around the entire world for the last 3 YEARS...he is my idol!!

He retired early and took off. I really admire him and can't wait to see his pictures and hear amazing stories! :) :)

Time to sign off and will be back soon enough with another post! :)

Lindsay Ann Hawker

2009-04-05T21:54:00.000-07:00

Last month marked the two year anniversary of the death of Lindsay Ann Hawker.

I know most of you will have never heard of her, but her death rattled all us foreigners living here in Japan.

She was a British girl living in Tokyo. She had come over for a year to teach English.

A Japanese guy stopped her on the street asking for lesssons. She gave him one English lesson in a coffee shop a few days later. That same day, he killed her in his apartment and left her body on his balcony.

It's a really creepy story and many of us foreign teachers were greatly affected by her death...because it could've happened to any one of us.

At the time of her death, I was giving 11 private classes apart from my regular job, going to people's home. I know it was stupid of me and I stopped them afterward. I was very lucky.

The police were tipped off about him, went to his place and found him leaving his apartment. The officers found her body and tried to chase after him. They lost him. And they haven't found him to this day.

It's frustrating and must make her family crazy to know that they had the man who killed their daughter in their hands, and they let him slip away.

I was asked to write an article for the Being A Broad magazine, who has tried to raise awareness and make her murderer's face known to everyone, in the hopes of catching him.

The article includes many quotes from her family. I thought it best to use their words mainly, rather than my own. They visited Japan last month also to help people not forget that their is a cold-blooded murderer free on the streets and asking for people to help.

I can't imagine what they must be feeling, nor would I even pretend to. While I was writing the story, I admit there were a few times my emotion got the better of me. Lindsay's story is such a sad one and the love her family had for her is so strong.

Although I've never met the Hawker family, since writing this article, I've had them in my prayers. I hope the police do catch her murderer so her family can finally rest and put closure on this nightmare.

My Initiation into the Craft World

2009-03-29T04:26:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally got to try my hand at some crafts and I gotta say: What fun!

I admit patience is a necessity but it is so relaxing and the tiny little things you make bring such a smile to your face and satisfaction for your soul.

I went over to my friend's house and we started with paper quilling. The paper colours all lined up in the packages you buy are just so pretty! After looking through an illustrated book of paper quilling, I decided on just doing some simple flower and heart designs to start off with, especially since all the instructions were in Japanese.

So, after lots of measuring, cutting, rolling, pushing, pulling, gluing, fumbled fingers and my friend's excellent instructions, I had created my first project in crafts. And it only took two hours!!

Here is my final product:

It may not look like much, but it does take a long time and precision. Every piece glued onto the frame, needed to be sized, cut, quilled, shaped and glued together.

Each piece is made separately, formed and shaped and glued. Once you have enough to create something, then you put it together to make a heart, or flower petal, or stem, or whatever.

Once it's all glued together to (hopefully) resemble what you want it to, then you have to put it on the frame.

The little white flowers in the top left take the longest. First I did the yellow centers. Then I focused on the white. Each long sheet, needed to be cut to size, then cut numerous times along the edge, then twirled around the yellow center and glued. Then to create the effect of petals, formed, and pushed and spread apart. So, it really does take time.

But now that I know, I will be doing another one with a lot more detail to be used as a collage of pictures of my husband and I. Wish me luck!

Today, I spent another couple of hours making more flowers and other simple designs, and stashing them away in my little cache for my next project.

Two and a half hours, a cup of herbal tea and a bunch of grapes later, we moved on to my next craft: embroidery.

haha.....well, let's just say I didn't finish the tiny cushion I chose to make.

Hooolllyyy tiiiime!! I had no idea how long this stuff took to make.

I won't upload the picture of what I am doing in embroidery until my cloth begins to resemble the picture I plan to make.

But I chose a tiny cushion that has different types of herb plants, as my design. It's really cute.

After...ahem...more than a couple hours...(I won't elaborate)...I managed to finish the square border and one stem line of one herb of a few.

I also didn't realize that embroidery is all about the counting...we had to do a lot of counting to centre the image, to measure, etc. etc.

But, in saying all that, after a few cross-stitches I began to see the pattern form on my fabric and it was the encouragement I needed not to throw in the towel, or the cushion for that matter.

So also today, I spent my morning finishing four other stems. It is coming together...it will definitely take me much longer to finish this than the quilled picture frame, but I'm enjoying it. I cannot deny.

There you have it: my initiation into crafts was a success and I have now crossed to the 'lighter' side of life...it is a wonderful way to pass your time, to spend time with friends, to relax, to lighten your mind and to give yourself some fulfillment.

I would recommend it to anyone. :)

It was just what I needed to finish off my first week in my self-improvement mission.

My husband commented in the car today that I am so relaxed. We were behind an old granny driving about 20 kms/hr in a 60 km/hr zone. It was a swervy and hilly road, so I could not pass him.

If this had happened two weeks ago, I would've been cursing, my heart rate and blood pressure would've shot through the roof and I would've honked and swerved behind the poor man, making him nervous as hell and eventually move to the side to let me through.

Instead, I sat back, sang along with the music and chatted with my husband as we sipped our coffees from 7/11.

He was very impressed with me. And to be honest, I was impressed with me, too. :)

It was a relaxing drive. :)

So now I'll sign off sending out a big thank you to Heather for inspiring me to try my hand at crafts and to Caren for having the patience to teach and guide me.

And once I post this, I'm going to open my file and continue writing my novel, which I added another 3 chapters to, last night.

Have a wonderful week everyone :)

Quote of the Week

2009-03-22T07:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm going to include two quotes this week, only because both of them are perfectly in line with my mission of self-improvement.

Read, enjoy and take them to heart :)

"Nobody can bring you peace but yourself."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

"Peace begins with a smile."
~Mother Teresa~

Happy thoughts, everyone!

A nice glimpse of the future

2009-03-22T07:16:00.000-07:00

This week has been a refreshingly calm week. Yes, I'm still crazy busy, but I'm smiling and my shoulders are relaxed and my hair is done nicely and my glass of wine is a nice treat, not a relaxer.

I have now started my Spring Break holiday, but here in Japan it is our end of the year holiday and the new school year will start, for us foreigners in a couple of weeks.

These next two weeks will still be busy as we are finalizing my husband's papers and doing a major cleaning to get rid of most of our stuff to get an early start on packing. I also plan on finishing my novel within these next two weeks.

I have about another 10-15 chapters to go, but I am determined to finish it. Then dedicate the next 2 or 3 months to making the final edits. Then, it's off to a publishing house or agent for rejection or acceptance...of course, all in the house are hoping for the latter! *wink wink*

Getting older doesn't seem such a taboo issue with me anymore. No, no. I'm actually enjoying each day as my life is shaping up to be just how I want it to be.

I'm learning to relax more, learning to let the little things fly with the wind and the big things not to consume me. I'm enjoying learning the things I've taken upon myself to learn. I'm learning to be more optimistic. I'm learning to be even stronger than I thought I was at facing possibilities/obstacles.

And I'm learning to enjoy a good glass of wine, or a steaming hot coffee, appreciating the nature around me. I've passed a couple of days in the exact manner I've painted my 'future' picture as. Relaxing with my husband over a nice coffee in the morning, watching the sun rise and writing.

I've had the pleasure of learning the feeling my writing tutors described when they talk about 'whipping up an article and sending it off'. And also when they talked about feeling like a writer and the satisfaction when the paper or magazine shows up on your doorstep and you open it to read your article.

Yes, this week has been the exact mimick of what I am planning my life to be like by the end of this year. It takes time, but each day is one step closer. Each day is a separate pleasure I'm learning not to take for granted.

Okay, so there are my thoughts for the night and now I'll sign off wishing everyone a wonderful week. Find beauty in the little things. It makes life so much more pleasurable. :)

My Published Works

2009-03-19T05:42:00.000-07:00

Here is an article I wrote, published last December in the Being A Broad magazine for foreign women living here in Japan.

Just click directly on the article for a bigger, clearer image.

Next month, I will post another of my publications. :)

Happy thoughts

2009-03-19T05:23:00.000-07:00

Well, so far this week has been a very relaxing one.

I've been trying to follow my list of improvements and I'm proud of myself at how well I'm doing so far.

Since Sunday there were 23 instances where, had I not made my list, I would've lost my temper...little things like getting cut off while driving ( I have terrible road rage..something I inherited from my Canadian roots, apparently!)...

Anyhow, to make a long story short, I've been feeling much more relaxed as I chose not to get angry in those moments. I just kept repeating "Happy thoughts!" over and over again.

My husband saw how my attitude has been improving, he jumped on the bandwagon as well. He knows me well enough to know what gets me going, so before I even have time to register what is happening, he is already saying "Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts!"

It's actually quite cute, since he can't speak a word of English so it kind of comes out as: "Hapay fox!" hehehe :) :)

Anyhow, I'm even enjoying my dancing more. It says something about being more optimistic and calmer in life. I happen to like this temperament better.

Oh, I'm not 'cured' but if I'm going to put energy into something, it's better to put it into "hapay fox", rather than road rage :)

Today was also the last day of school and we had the graduation ceremony for my junior high school students. They are my favourite students and I will miss them terribly.

In the six years I've been here, I have never met a group of Japanese teenagers as outgoing, kind, friendly and open-minded as them. They made me feel like a friend and respected me as a teacher. I will really miss them. We took lots of pictures together after the ceremony, so I will definitely develop them to keep for memories.

Yes, so far it is shaping up to be a very good week.

Happy thoughts :)

Why is changing so hard?

2009-03-15T04:41:00.001-07:00

So, a few things happened over these last couple of weekends that got me thinking.

It's been a long struggle for me over the years to live the life I want to live and to mold myself into the person I want to be. And I've had more relapses then I'm willing to admit.

I wasn't always such a nice person. Actually, I was a downright b*tch. I had alot happen in my life that made me lash out and hate everyone, feel the need to break free and turn my back on it all, feel the pressure to prove myself and I was cold. Very cold. I didn't shed a tear no matter what happened.

There were a few years of my life where I felt I had finally reached the balance in my life and in me, as a woman. They were the happiest and most peaceful years of my life.

Unfortunately, that didn't last long.

Now, I am overly friendly, am a mother hen to all my friends, wear my heart on my sleeve and cry at the drop of a hat. I'm pathetic.

The thing is, such an extreme change in character has opened the doors to being hurt, taken advantage of, betrayed and leaving any Joe Blow feeling they have the confidence to say whatever they damn well please to me.

And everytime something like that happens, I can feel the old Aurora coming back. It's like the transformation of the incredible Hulk. Seriously. My face feels hot, it's red as a tomato, my hands start to shake and I can almost feel my blood boil. (I know that makes me sound scary, but unfortunately that is one trait I inherited from my Sicilian ancestors: a very bad temper)

Yet, I say nothing. The new Aurora, the nice Aurora, the 'do unto others' Aurora wins out. And I honestly have no idea if this is a good thing or a bad. All I know is that when I walk away without taking the opportunity to speak up for myself or my family, I'm left days with simmering anger.

Unfortunately, I admit the new Aurora tends to take alot and then without explanation I blow up at the final straw. So it is partly my fault for by staying quiet, these so-called friends or complete strangers are conditioned to think it is okay to walk all over me.

Due to recent events that I won't get into, my husband gave me a stern talking to. He said I am way too nice and I need to stop being this way. He, on the other hand, is not very friendly with people at all. I've asked him to be a little more friendly over the years together and he has softened a bit, but I am beginning to think he had it right to begin with.

This afternoon my husband made it clear to me he is no longer Mr. Nice Guy with anybody but family. He is polite, don't get me wrong but cordial polite. Not friendly polite.

After the track record I've had these past few years of being walked on and losing friends for not saying things sooner, I think he's right.

And I hate to admit, that because of all this, I've grown to be quite a complainer and I have grown to become irritated much to quickly. I am no longer the calm, take it in stride Aurora I was a few years back. And I miss that.

I miss the woman I was just a few short years ago. It seems I was much smarter and more balanced then.

So, after an afternoon alone with my thoughts, I've made some decisions.

I am no longer going to complain.
I am no longer going to look at the pessimistic side of things.
I am no longer going to allow people to 'sting' me with their words/actions.
I am no longer going to open my heart to just anyone.
I am no longer going to worry what people will think of me if I do or say something.
I am no longer going to let people manipulate me.
I am no longer going to let my temper get the better of me.

I am going to focus on me.
I am going to focus on my husband.
I am going to smile more.
I am going to be more optimistic.
I am going to be firm.
I am going to say and do what I feel is right in the moment.
I am going to move forward every day.
I am going to let go of the past.
I am going to let other's be angry.
I am going to make the line more visible to others.
I am going to rid myself of all negative thoughts.
I am going to distance myself from people who won't be in my life in a year.
I am going to be more calm.
I am going to curb my temper.
I am going to surround myself with only people I want near me.
I am going to think happy thoughts.
I am going to be happy, secure, confident and balanced.

And I am going to log it all here in my blog. I need to 'see' myself accomplish these things.

*phew*

Well, what a way to start the week. A little soul-searching and resolution making. :)

I am going to succeed :)

Quote of the Week

2009-03-14T08:32:00.000-07:00

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."
~Charles M. Schulz~

Something sweet?

Anybody?

:) :)

Today is the day

2009-03-11T23:44:00.000-07:00

Well, great news!

Another article of mine has been accepted! I was contacted by the editor of the magazine awhile back for a 'rush' article she needed done. I got that done in a 'rush' and it will be published this month.

She sends me another message yesterday, asking if I'd be interested in writing another article she needs for next month. I ask her for a sample and she sends me one this morning.

I thought: What the heck? Why not? It's a great way to get tearsheets.

So, I start fooling around with an idea and an hour and a half later, I send her my first draft.

She emails me back so excited and happy. She loved my draft and said she'd be willing to publish it, as is! And says she's impressed how fast and great I am.

Now, I'm not trying to stroke my own ego here, because I know these are not major kick-ass articles. Actually, all three articles accepted by this magazine were non-fiction, life articles.

But I am feeling pretty damn good! And it inspired me to write another article which I want to send in to another magazine. Yes, a paying one.

I finished that article today, as well.

So I must admit, it's been a pretty productive day. I taught three classes, wrote two articles.

One has been accepted already and the other is now sitting patiently, while I do my Market Research Analysis and hopefully that will be out by the weekend.

Now, I have an inkling of what my life will feel like if I reach my goal of writing from home.

Today, I feel like a writer :)

What a wonderful surprise!

2009-03-07T20:31:00.001-08:00

Well, you just never know where, how or who will surprise you. :)

I opened my blog today to find my faithful TWF Friends as my followers. You guys are awesome!! :)

I'm proud of the community The Writing Friends has become over such a short time. We met at different points in our lives. We're all from such different backgrounds, but having the love and struggle of writing in common, brings us closer together.

I feel more at home in TWF than any other writing site I've found. I am proud of everyone's successes and sympathize with everyone's letdowns.

It's nice to feel part of a community that is still very personal and one that helps us grow. It will be awesome to watch everyone progress and reach their goals!

Perhaps very few of us have blessings in all aspects of our lives, but some blessings make you feel so warm inside, it makes up for where blessings are lacking.

I will sign off wishing you all a wonderful week and leaving you with my Quote for the Week:

"I'm so lucky. I have such a great support system. All I have to do is run. "
~Cathy Freeman~

Quote of the Week

2009-03-01T07:06:00.000-08:00

"Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do and damned if you don't." ~Eleanor Roosevelt~

This lady got it so right :)
A lesson that was difficult for me to learn, but I think I've finally got it.

Back again, pushing forward

2009-02-28T07:16:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'm back...

Haven't forgotten about my blog...just had things in the way.

Well, things are looking good for us, so far. I don't want to say too much in case I jinx it, but we are getting things in order quickly...if all goes well, we can get our papers in by mid-April. YAY!

Then, it's just wait, wait, wait.

Also, I sent in my submission to a Canadian Publisher for my children's book. Crossing my fingers on this one! I'll be so excited if they accept it.

I haven't dedicated anytime to finishing my novel, but this month I'll have a couple weeks free and I plan on dedicating most of that time to my novel. If I can finish it by the end of this month, then I can do the edits little by little and be on schedule to submit it by the summer.

Slowly but surely, things are coming together. I'm feeling much more peaceful these days. I'll admit, exhausted, but peaceful.

When I'm working towards a goal, no matter how little I accomplish, I feel like not one day is in vain. Little accomplishments each day is what gets us to the big ones.

Things are coming together :)

My calming refuge

2009-02-09T03:34:00.000-08:00

I have slowly become a lover of nature.

I haven't reached the same intense passion as others, say like rock climbers or para-sailers who want to be one with nature, but I definitely have developed a respect and admiration for the unspoiled beauty that still exists on the planet.

When I think of going back home and how I want to spend my days, an image of me sitting on a porch in front of a wooden cabin with my wonderful husband, drinking coffee and looking out at glorious snow-covered mountains, with the sun peaking out from behind their majestic tips comes to my mind.

And I feel completely blissful. How can I not? With a country like Canada, the beauty of nature and all it offers is at my fingertips. We Canucks are very lucky.
Although I admit, some winter days are so fierce, we may think otherwise :)

When I take pause during the day, I find myself looking toward the sky. I love clouds. Of course, I prefer the fluffy white ones just slightly marring a blue sky. But man, they are beautiful. I could watch them for hours.

Their formation and movement are truly incredible. When I see pictures of sunrises over water, or snowy capped mountains with nothing but green at it's base, it really does take my breath away.

I find my peace and tranquility in the few moments I can steal each day to appreciate the beauty around me or above me.

Thought I would add some of the pictures that I love to look at once in awhile...just to give me my few moments of bliss, when I need it. The pictures on the side of my blog were all sent to me through e-mails by friends. And I just absolutely love them.

This makes me feel more at home and makes me long for the day when I am back home in my beautiful land of Canada. :)

My First Attempt

2009-02-08T04:17:00.001-08:00

Well, I finally did it. I made a blog.

I have never been able to keep up with a diary so I'm kind of thinking why did I do this.
Actually, as I type this I'm staring at the diary I bought a week after I got married, sitting on my shelf collecting dust.

It's strange because people who know me well, know I always have something to say and have an opinion on just about anything. And am never afraid to voice it. But I'm sitting here not knowing what to write.

Okay. A little about myself:

I absolutely love my family (most of the time).

I love to travel, which unfortunately since my marriage, hasn't been something I've been able to do. That's one of the beauties of singlehood; you can do whatever you want, whenever you want. But once you're married, it's different. I don't care what feminists or anyone else says. It is different. And it should be.
When you marry someone, you vow to share your life with them. Decisions should be made with the both of you.

What else...?

Um...I am an English Teacher, hoping to change careers...I am a published writer and am currently working on a novel. My dream is to stop teaching and work from home writing novels. I want to spend more time with my family and less time in a work atmosphere with people who mean very little or nothing to me, at all.

I vow not to be one of those people who, on their deathbed, regret not spending more time with the people they love.

Lately, I have become quite disgruntled with people in general. It has been eleven years since I walked out of my home, my country and my roots to live anywhere but there. And in these past eleven years, I have had more life lessons than I can count.

The lessons life has thrown at me have very rarely been gentle, but rather brandishing and scarring my mind and heart. Imagine a hot iron being pressed against your forehead for 10 full seconds. That's what most of those life lessons felt like to me.

Regrets? I've had a few...but too few to mention. (Yes, I'm a Sinatra fan.)

Through it all, most times I was left standing alone. But I survived...with strength I never knew I had and with the hand of God. And because of this, I am a firm believer in tough love. What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. I have no sympathy for weak personalities.

And I admittedly hate people who have had everything given to them on a silver platter and who have never had to struggle in life. They may look good, but more times than not, they are emptier than a hollow vase. No substance, no strength and no idea.

The thing is, here in Japan, all the people I felt were decent friends, turned out to be like the scum walking the "crucero" in Mexico, when I lived there...and trust me: most of those homosapiens barely passed the test of being human. Their resemblance to beast with only instinct, rather than heart and reason, was scary.

Through my time here, I have learned that I had invested time and effort and a little of my heart on people that just weren't worth it. They never understood me, nor cared enough for me. It's a sad realization when you wake up to it. And it's enough to change your outlook on people forever.

Now, I am more than happy to keep that circle closed tight. Outside of my family, which are my life, and the very few friends that have stood the test of time with me, that circle is firmly closed.

And it's a breath of fresh air for me.

Over the years and the struggles I faced, my personality has gone through evolutions and drastic changes.

I struggle each day with the person that I am and the person that I want to be. And I thank my family and few friends that have seen these changes in me and despite it all, love me unconditionally.

I can't ask for more than that. :D

Wow...and I had nothing to say...can you imagine if I did??!

Well, I suppose that's it for now. I'll just leave you with my new life motto.

This is what molds me, my thoughts and actions for each day and for my future. I read it somewhere and it struck a chord with me. I never stopped believing or working towards achieving it...and I will achieve it.

"Loving what you do is Happiness
Doing what you love is Freedom."

Life doesn't get any better than that! :D